Sunday, March 25, 2007

Have a Kit Kat

I made a silly mistake of signing on to take three modular ICU courses in my appraisal last year. A maximum of two months is given to the staff to complete each module. It took me a year to finish one, only because the most part of it - I completed three days ago. I should be so damn proud of myself.

I still have two more modules to tackle then I should be ready to sit down with my Boss to review whether I deserve to jump up to the next pay scale: I reckon a few pennies to catch inflation, pay the monthly mortgage and keep me off sleeping rough outside under the streetlamps. Not to mention the cosmic bloody tax. The fate of my bank book’s equilibrium depends on whether or not my Boss agrees that I meet the knowledge and skills required for my post. Such a pretty sad wanky life I had this week.

And I feel really bad for being unable to update this blog. Most of the time I spent trying to make sense of the tedious squiggles on a strip of paper caused by electrical good fortune or mishaps that occur inside a grumpy old turd’s heart. It is fascinating to find out how the heart could draw an ugly picture of you. Especially if you’re miserable, eat lots of pies, and your best friend is a fag called Benny (I mean Benson & Hedges). I don’t mean to put you off the smokes, guys. I still think smoking remains the one stiffened finger raised to authority. It is definitely cool. Although. I have to say, your heart’s rhythm may look like Count Dracula’s bad teeth if you’re not lucky. No worries, you can always give up red meat if you’re not ready to stomp your butt of choice. I heard that chocolates are good for your heart.

Phytochemicals known as flavanols, which are found in chocolate, fruits and vegetables, can boost the levels of nitric oxide in the blood of smokers and reverse some of their smoking-related impairment in blood vessel function according to a study by the American College of Cardiology two years ago. So I’m tucking in a huge chunky milky bar and lots of veg. Somebody slipped this rude magazine with loads of free goodies ( a kitkat, dvd and funky eyewear) in the groceries this morning. I’m not sure what to do with the 3D specs.

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Anonymous pining said...

and so you should be... proud of yourself, I mean.. that must have been an arduous task; the extra load of studying plus the agony of being an NHS nurse...Oh tell me about it; the mortgage's a pain in the backside! and being a chocoholic myself, that's good news for me

12:29 PM  
Blogger The Screaming Nutcase said...

It looks like you have 3D porn over there. I'm jealous. Either that or I just haven't looked hard enough over here...

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny the way you use the word fag.. which Brits refer to as smoke hehe.. Hey, nothing wrong with fag and Kit-kat ( seems like an unholy alliance)if it gives you the mileage you need to overcome the intellectual challence: ) Better than drugs and booze for sure :)

5:53 PM  
Blogger vernaloo said...

i soooo love you when you're miserable! lolz so funny!

musta na da my friend?! you just need a break..have a kit kat hrhrhrhrhr

8:37 PM  
Blogger Talamasca said...

This may sound so optimistic, happy-go-lucky, let-the-fucking-sunshine of me, but this, too, shall pass!

Smokers like you are done for! Bwahahahaha! (Ok I suck at spouting words of love! I know, I know!)

Me *pink puffy hearts* your laptop! Um, can I have it? Pretty puhlease? Oooh ZOMG boobies! *throws laptop away* :-D

5:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what's up with the veggies???

chocolates, cigarettes, sex? - they're all just anti-depressants. mash them all together and you're a happy bouncing man.

7:17 AM  
Anonymous chase said...

I smoked for like 2-3 months and I noticed that my skin was deteriorating so I had to stop. Vanity over vice. lol!

3D porn? That is something new.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Alternati said...

Oooohhh... Thanks for rationalizing smoking!!!!

I've given up red meat, and I'm stocking up on fruits, veggies and glorious chocolate! (I hope they don't throw in 3d Boobs in my grocery bag though... Not interested in that part of human anatomy. I wouldn't mind the kit-kat and the glasses though... :P )

Good luck with the two remaining modules.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Shari said...

Boggle the mind once in a while. Too much boggling might cause (more) brain damage. :p

As someone who hardly ever smokes (actually, I really don't, but I've tried it na haha), I don't think I'm worried much about it. I do love chocolates though. Padalhan mo ako? ;)

7:57 PM  
Anonymous snglguy said...

So now I have more excuses NOT to quit smoking... :-)

5:49 AM  
Anonymous may said...

mortgage and adrenaline rush:)


9:43 AM  
Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said...

that yellow banana works well as a phallic symbol...

is it that big?... your worries on the modules?


5:15 PM  
Anonymous aCey said...

3-d boobs? oh come on!

p.s.: my dear, how on earth did you know i'm from stc? hehehe!

8:17 AM  
Anonymous sasha said...

Chocolates are good for the heart eh? Hahaha.. good thing I love chocolates! :)

Hey Howl, you can pass that evaluation with flying colors! I'm sure of it! Good luck on the remaining modules.

Happy weekend!

P.S. Pirmi ka maghalong. I-email ta ka kung di na ko gina tamad :)

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that OS X running on a Windows computer?

6:58 PM  
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11:21 PM  
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1:05 PM  

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