Friday, April 20, 2007

Kill Bill

I received a letter from my GP to contact surgery for an appointment to see the Doctor to discuss the results of the blood test that was taken of me last week. Not a clean bill of health, I have to say. Just when I thought I got over SAD – short for Seasonal Affective Disorder, I felt creeping in last year when daylight started to ebb away by October, and the self-destructive need to fill every centimetre of my gut space with horrible carbohydrates.

But yes, the clocks have already moved forward as the days got longer and now you wake up to see your single-mum neighbour sprawled on all fours at the back garden lawn like a New York City Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon inflation.

Not an encouraging view, I assure you. There is a reason for spray on fake tans and coffin-shaped indoor sunbeds. Or the tokens you can collect from reading crappy newspaper you can convert to cheap beach holidays in Greece where you can sunbathe all day without a Japanese whaler carrying a massive harpoon on sight.

Check your BMI (Body Mass index) here and see what the US government thinks of you. Luckily, unlike Matt Damon and George Bush, I’m not overweight just yet. It amazes me to find out that the midget Tom Cruise at 5’7” and 170 lbs is actually overweight. I bet it’s his height that gave him away. The government approves my 5’7” and 154 lbs as normal, but I’m almost pre-obese because of my height. LOL! But that’s the least of my worries. My fasting blood sugar is 7 which may indicate I have diabetes and my cholesterol levels from the blood test is massively high at 8, when ideal value should be below 5, so basically, I am a ticking time bomb.

Huh?! Is this Lara Croft?
Another sad tosser who played a lot of video games and watched way too many films. I do agree with the Screaming Nutcase here. A college student with a concealed handgun license would have confined the carnage. Virginia Tech killed the bill (Oops, Kill Bill – no pun intended) that allows on-campus carry of firearms last year. But if every student has a license to carry a handgun - is there a guarantee that it won’t look like that scene in Battle Royale? It’s about time the US should follow Britain’s example of criminalising guns and stick a lot of closed circuit television. The UK has one camera for every 14 people; you wouldn’t need a myspace or a friendster account to be a cam whore. One camera for each Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders wouldn’t be a bad idea.
Oh, yes! More cameras, please!

"My heart goes out to all the victims and the friends and families of the victims of the Virginia Tech tragedy." ~ nicked this line from alternati .